Best, Movie, Ever

[Graham]

i beleive i have just seen the greatest climbing film ever created. I f any of you want an evening full of deep metatative, entertainement, than I highly recomend going out and renting, no, BUYING, the latest in inspirational climbing filmatography "Supzero"

This priceless gem not only sheds a deep and realistic light into the hidden world of climbing but it does it with humility and grace. The film's preamis is that top secret satelites that fire energy beems capable of untold pixelated destruction are launched into space. Russian terrorists steal control device (a light up rubix cube) from base in Siberia and fly off. In a display of inept navigation the pilot manages to fly over K2 befor being shot down by a Russian missle. The device of course survives the explosion and lands on top of the mountain. Satalites revert to default "Blow the hell out of everything in 72 hours" programing (why do they always add that command line? I wonder if this web site went down if Fred's computer would begin burning down his house?) So the USA assembles awsome team of climbers and asserts it's territorial claims in Pakistan and launches recovery mission. (At this point we see the glorious return of the military base featured in Verticle limit. only this time it is run by US military and the cannons are used to trigger avalanches on K2 rather than blow up Indians.) Add the hot Russian Chick and her obviously evil russian friend plus character conflict between 2 main guys (think cliff hanger) and death of token black guy and boy do we ever have a plot.

Some of my favorite parts include:

A guy takes point over dangerous ground and falls down a crevase (this is also the magic head lamp part walking in daylight, no head lamp, fall in dark hole uncounscious, head lamp on and illuminated, pulled back out headlamp gone. Man I want one of those.) he gets injured, pulled back up, yadda, yadda. The team decides to set up camp, so they all get up and leasurely wander across the cravasse ridden glacier.

The Piton bazooka, Think the bolt gun from cliff hanger, have it shoot a piton and increase size to that of an anti-tank weapon (I have no idea how they got it in their bag.)

Excellent dialogue such as:
Person 1-"We're done"
Person 2- "No kidding Sherlock"
(in regards to the giant avalanche that is about to sweep them off the mountain)

But by far the 2 best parts in the entire movie were:

The climatic fist fight on K2 with the inspirational view of...... a coniferous forest? dominating the back drop.

And the special edition expedition pack that low alpine aledgedly builds, it may look like a regular pack, but this one's got a Parachute built into it! complet with rip cord that feeds into your jacket pocket. Apparently the main character feels that, when climbing K2 it is far more important to bring a parachute in case a crazy russian terrorist offers you an untimatum of being shot or jumping off a cliff, as opposed to say crampons, which the entire team feels are not nessesary to wear.

So I highly recommend that you get out and watch this movie as it is actually a really crappy movie( think cliff hanger and verticle limit combined, but subtract acting, budget and any aemblence of realism that may have been preasent in the other 2) However, it is well worth watching just to see the many scenes which will leave you in stiches. (that, and the fact that the main guy wears a MEC vest that's like the one I have.)

[Graham]

wow I think I must be illiterate. Darn Arts program

[mathieu]

Ah my friend, you have not seen "SnowMan's Pass". They basically shot a bunch of shots in front of the chief in Squamish and then put in some fancy climbing lingo. A heart gripping whipper mixed with TR then leading then back on TR and bolts breaking followed by a close call saved by a timely daisy chain clip makes for the most action packed 2 minute ever created. A true canadian piece of cheez.

http://www.geocities.com/anilduman/diana/diana.htm

Here is the one sentence synopsis
"A widow is hired as a guide to the treacherous mountain pass where her husband died three years earlier"

TREACHEROUS MOUTAIN PASS???? THEY NEVER LEAVE THE DAMN TREE LINE!!!

[Stef]

Graham, based on your eloquent and glowing endorsement we watched Subzero the other night.

Things I learned from this movie:

When your buddy falls in a crevasse, just drop the tangled mess of rope you were "belaying" with on the ground.

Tents are much larger on the inside than on the outside.

K2 is flat, and requires only that you carry technical climbing equipment on your pack or harness, but never actually use it.

When making a climbing film, don't bother with expensive riggers or special effects. Just film on flat ground and turn the camera sideways.

Climbing ropes are a waste of money. Any brightly colored laundry line will do.

Don't miss out on this one guys. You can get your copy at better gas stations for 5$ while supplies last. Also, I recommend alcohol... lots of alcohol...


Cheers,

Stef

[martha]

Tents are much larger on the inside than on the outside.

We like to call this the 'Harry Potter Effect'