When you don't feel comfortale climbing with someone.....

[granite_grrl]

I have these great feelings of guilt of not inviting this one particular woman out climbing from my area. She climbs with the rest of the group that I climb with, but I regularly leave her off emails that I send out when I invite the people from this group to go climbing.

I just don't feel comfortable climbing with her, I don't feel that she's safe, and I don't like her attitude towards climbing. If she's on this beautiful 5.7 she doesn't enjoy it because its not hard enough. She has scoffed at me when she found out that I have been climbing for over 4 years but we climb near the same grade at the gym and at the local crags. She is quite good, I'll admit that, but rushes in over her head too often, and has even got cranky at me once when I told her to watch out for a pendulum fall that could bruise her up pretty bad....said that she didn't like some one scaring her.

Seems that every one has slightly scary story about her, whether it was the time she went up a sport climb with no idea what to do at the anchors, or her hoping on a high ball bouldering problem and freaking out 2/3s of the way up. Yet they still climb with her. I really enjoy this group, its just her that I feel uncomfortable with.

So I feel guilty when I don't invite her and inevitably someone else does (such as this weekend, she asked not to be left off the mailing list again, *gulp*), I feel angry that she doesn't want to learn and ignores what I try to tell her, and I'm a little dissapointed that I might not get to climb with my friends because I don't want to climb with her.

So this is my rant. My rant on a climbers board where none of my Ontario friends will read this, and you have no idea who my Ontario friends are (ah, the internet, where you can bitch about anything under a differnt name). Mostly letting off steam here, hope that you didn't mind reading (if you got this far ).

Rebecca

[granite_grrl]

And I misspelt the subject. Dang.

[mitchleblanc]

Oh man! What a crock! I read your whole post and didn't see anything about "comfortales"!

Just kidding. I read your post, and think it's funny that you feel bad at all. Why would you? It's perfectly normal to not want to climb with someone who is dangerous, or "out of control", etc. It puts everyone around her at risk (if she's being dangerous) and it's stressful, etc. Or maybe you just don't like her, and that's fine too, because she sounds like a real stubborn ass, to me.

Why would you feel guilty? Your real problem is that you're not being brave and telling her that you just frankly don't want to climb with her! You're not inviting her out for a reason, so stick to your guns! If I was in that situation, I doubt I would walk up and outright tell her that she's a moron - I just would ignore her entirely, and not feel bad doing it.

It does seem like a pretty awkward situation, and I don't know what to tell you. Tell your friends you have a problem with this chick, and to not invite her? I suppose that's one solution. If everyone else seems to think she's really cool, then I guess that's another problem!

Regarding her "scoffing" at your level of ability: That is grounds for anger. I suggest kicking her ass.

[peter]

I would say be open to climbing with new people, but once you get to know someone, and don't like climbing with them, hell, cut 'em lose.

It is bad enough having to work with people we don't like, we shouldn't have to hang with them in our spare time, too.

But if you're going to kick her ass, give us some advance time, as Mitch and I probably both want to fly in with the video cam.

[The Mitt]

I agree with Mitch. Just tell her how you feel if there is a problem kick her in the Gouch. Always works for me.

Mitt
The new touchy feeley mitt

[peter]

Kick her and then say, "I feel your pain"?

[Brent]

I don't want to climb with anyone who doesn't know what to do at the top of a sport climb. Its to bolts anyone with half a brain should be able to figure it out.

[granite_grrl]

In the end everything worked out this last weekend, she bailed on our group to go climbing with some stronger climbers. Go figure

Actually met her at the crags on Saturday....you know what? I don't think she likes me either

[Fred]

sounds like a cat fight

[The Mitt]

For that I will travel and even pay for some oil or mud. Is there a way we could schedule this event or maybe go to pay per view? I think you could take her.

Mitt

[granite_grrl]

For that I will travel and even pay for some oil or mud. Is there a way we could schedule this event or maybe go to pay per view? I think you could take her.

Mitt

Dude, I outweight her by like 30lbs.


I could so take her.

[The Mitt]

Now see I want to see the fight even more. Damn loonies the only bills I can put in the ring are fives (I will be poor).

Mitt

PS Why do I feel Peter and Tom's wives just getting ready to kick my ass, after reading this thread? I'm really not that sexist. Oh wait I am (damn). But I don't discriminate I pick on everyone equally

[Andrew]

If you don't feel comfortable climbing with someone, don't. Plain and simple. I started to get one of my friends into climbing and he really wanted to do it, but after a while, I just dead stopped climbing with him and he's totally stopped climbing. There were too many incidents where had things gone wrong I'd haev been dead and he just wasn't understanding this safety thing with climbing.

It's hard to do but it's your life.

My -more than 2 cents-

I have these great feelings of guilt of not inviting this one particular woman out climbing from my area. She climbs with the rest of the group that I climb with, but I regularly leave her off emails that I send out when I invite the people from this group to go climbing.

I just don't feel comfortable climbing with her, I don't feel that she's safe, and I don't like her attitude towards climbing. If she's on this beautiful 5.7 she doesn't enjoy it because its not hard enough. She has scoffed at me when she found out that I have been climbing for over 4 years but we climb near the same grade at the gym and at the local crags. She is quite good, I'll admit that, but rushes in over her head too often, and has even got cranky at me once when I told her to watch out for a pendulum fall that could bruise her up pretty bad....said that she didn't like some one scaring her.

Seems that every one has slightly scary story about her, whether it was the time she went up a sport climb with no idea what to do at the anchors, or her hoping on a high ball bouldering problem and freaking out 2/3s of the way up. Yet they still climb with her. I really enjoy this group, its just her that I feel uncomfortable with.

So I feel guilty when I don't invite her and inevitably someone else does (such as this weekend, she asked not to be left off the mailing list again, *gulp*), I feel angry that she doesn't want to learn and ignores what I try to tell her, and I'm a little dissapointed that I might not get to climb with my friends because I don't want to climb with her.

So this is my rant. My rant on a climbers board where none of my Ontario friends will read this, and you have no idea who my Ontario friends are (ah, the internet, where you can bitch about anything under a differnt name). Mostly letting off steam here, hope that you didn't mind reading (if you got this far ).

Rebecca