by peter » Fri Jul 06, 2007 2:49 pm
So, in a rainy, foggy, slightly drunken haze, "we few, we happy few, we band of brothers" (and sisters) passed some unanimous resolutions at the monthly Henry House Stoners' meeting last night, namely:
(1) All Stoners must own -- and not just borrow -- at least one rainbow-coloured sling, and must wear and use it with Pride while climbing. Moved: Corbin; Seconded: McVey; Motion Carried.
(2) Stoners are henceforth prohibited from using spring-loaded caming devices on any trad route in the province, as they are clearly a form of cheating. Moved: McVey; Seconded: Corbin; Motion Carried.
(3) Stoners must use double rope technique on all climbs, even those as straight as the proverbial water drop line, perhaps even especially on such routes. Moved: Corbin; Seconded: McVey; Motion Carried.
(4) Stoners may not place protection, especially nuts, their own or anyone else's, in their mouths while lead climbing, in the interests of the second's own hygiene. Moved: Corbin; Seconded: McVey; Motion Carried.
(5) Stoners crafting route descriptions for new routes may not exceed one type-written character for every metre covered by the route, must include a literary or musical reference in the title, and the description cannot provide any useful beta about the route, as that would spoil things for those repeating it. Moved: McVey; Seconded: Corbin; Motion Carried.
(6) Stoners who cry out, "I'm falling!", but then don't actually immediately fall, must be lowered off the route and are required to sit quietly to one side for the remainder of the day, thinking about how inconsiderate they just were to their second. Moved McVey; Seconded: Corbin; Motion Carried.
(7) Stoners giving belay must respond to the command, "Watch me!", by immediately taking both hands off the rope. If "Watch me!" is shouted, or said with an at all quavering voice, the belayer must further immediately reply, "Okay, belay is off!". Moved: Corbin; Seconded: McVey; Motion Carried.
All Stoners have ten (10) days under the Association by-laws to register their solemn oath to abide by these regulations, before the Resolutions will registered with the proper authorities and proclaimed into force.